WHAT is the secret of happiness? There are hundreds of books and thousands of tips and ideas which aim to help us find out how to be happy.

Here in the rich, privileged West most of us don’t generally have to worry about the most basic necessities of life: clean water, a roof over our heads, food, access to health care. And once the basics are taken care of, we move on to the next thing, which is enjoying life.

How do we do that? What is the secret of happiness?

There are many useful pieces of advice in the books, such as: don’t try to be perfect, don’t put too much importance on money, look after your relationships, enjoy nature.

There’s one common feature in all the books, however: happy people are grateful, and they share what they have. Happy people don’t feel entitled to anything, they are glad when they have anything, and they give generously.

It’s not what you might expect in today’s world, when people are encouraged to look after themselves, take time for themselves and so on. But it seems that we’re made so that we can’t be really happy unless we’ve done something to make others happy too. In South Africa they call it “Ubuntu”. It means, roughly: “I can’t be really me unless you are really you”.

Sharing seems to be a really important part of happiness. It’s harvest festival time, when we give thanks for the harvest, collect food, and share it with those who need it. A way to help those who are not so lucky as many of us are, and, as it turns out, the best way to be happy.

Linda Henderson

Reader at St Thomas’, Sutton