Can everyone now please shut up about the smoking ban! For those of us who have heroically stubbed out our last fag, cleared Boots out of nicotine patches and felt like killing someone ever since, enough is enough.

I can't turn on the TV or open a newspaper without seeing a documentary or article about smoking. Not. Very. Helpful.

Which explains why I was just a tiny touch tetchy when we visited Ilkley's latest restaurant, Martha and Vincent, for a late lunch.

With only three tables occupied and three staff on duty, though only one actually making it as far as the tables, we waited a good 20 minutes before being asked for our order from the eye-wateringly expensive wine list. Still, it gave me plenty of time to study the cobwebs on the trendy chandeliers.

Told you I was tetchy! But the thing is that we'd heard good things about the restaurant and already salivated over the appetising sample menu featured on its website, which proclaims Martha and Vincent to be an Anglo-Irish eatery.

So we were more than disappointed to discover that, when we visited last Saturday, there was only a brunch' menu on offer, with full English breakfast et al. Though colcannon was in there somewhere, teamed up with venison sausages, so there's your Irish slant.

We didn't order starters from a list including oysters, eggs Benedict and scrambled eggs with bacon. Which was a good job, because we'd have never managed the generous portions to come.

The Child fancied roast beef but, despite being on the weekend brunch menu, it's only available on Sundays. So she settled for rib eye steak (£13.50) which was served in a tagine - not the most accessible piece of crockery, and with no steak knife in sight I was filled with maternal pride as she finally won the battle to actually get to her food.

Himself chose the M&V venison burger (£12.95), served with thick cut chips and an imaginative salad. What have these people got against Bambi?

It really was very nice, and the chips deserved a Michelin star in their own right. But what on earth is wrong with good old fashioned beef? My choice of smoked haddock kedgeree with cinnamon pilau rice (£9.50) was almost perfect (perhaps a touch over-spiced for my taste) and, like the burger, impressively presented.

Having let you down on the starters front, we felt duty bound to sample some puds - all priced at £5.75 which, if you're still recovering from the wine list, you might consider a bit much! However, The Child's Three Sins' ice cream, including a surprisingly nice strawberry and black pepper flavour, and the apple tartin with thyme ice cream that Himself and I shared were truly delicious.

When I'm feeling a little less homicidal we'll certainly return to enjoy the more extensive menu we were expecting on this visit. And, yes, I did ask - Martha and Vincent is not named after its owners (as you'd think) but rather the patron saints of chefs and wine producers respectively.

Given what they charge for a bottle in this place, I bet St Vincent is laughing all the way to the Pearly Gates!

Eilis Bottomley