I’M trapped in an underground lair, wondering how many times this place is going to bump me off.

I’ve already been sent for execution at the Tower of London by Henry VIII, stuck in a burning building during the Great Fire, blown up by a back-from-the-dead Guy Fawkes and chopped up for pie meat by Sweeney Todd.

But the London Dungeon isn’t finished with me yet.

I and my fellow hapless travellers venture into an old pub, where the landlady tells us about Jack the Ripper, who had been stalking the streets outside but whose killing spree ended mysteriously some months back. Where is he, and will he kill again?

Suddenly the lights go out and when they flicker back on he’s in front of us, ready to slash. Then, in another split second of darkness, he’s gone.

If you’re anything like me, there are plenty of tourist attractions in London that you really should have visited at some point, but have somehow never got around to.

I wasn’t quite sure what to expect from the London Dungeon, but rather than being some kind of museum of gore, it’s more of a theatre show and theme park in one.

Over the course of around two hours, visitors are led through a series of mini set-pieces, combining live acting, indoor rides and clever effects, as the grimmest periods in the capital’s past 1,000 years are brought to life.

History buffs may puzzle over the inclusion of the fictional character of Sweeney Todd, and the whole experience is undeniably cheesy, but it’s also a lot of fun. While it’s perhaps a little too scary for young children, it’s perfect for older kids and teenagers.

And while we’re in the mood for belatedly checking out world-famous attractions we’ve somehow overlooked until now, my companion and I swing by another London institution, Madame Tussauds.

Once we navigate the confusing choice of queues at the entrance (I find myself queueing to ask which queue to join - how British), the first room we step into is full of Hollywood glitz.

A-listers are peppered about the place, merging with the substantial crowds, so you can easily knock into someone and find yourself apologising to a Leo DiCaprio waxwork.

There’s a Bollywood section, a small army of middle-aged women waiting to sit next to George Clooney and a crowd of teenagers getting selfies with Kim Kardashian and Kanye West.

As we make our way round, there are plenty more themed rooms. Visitors can meet Donald Trump in the Oval Office, have their photo taken with the Royal Family or get up close to Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader as they fight their famous lightsaber showdown.

Just as the novelty of the waxworks is wearing off, we arrive at a 4D cinema, where an entertaining short film about the Marvel superheroes keeps us on our toes, thanks to unexpected squirts of water, puffs of air and pokes from the seats.

We’re indulging ourselves in the guilty pleasures of London’s tourist traps because we’ve been invited to try out Grand Central’s direct train service to London from Bradford’s newest station at Low Moor.

Whereas large railway stations can be awkward to get in and out of, travelling from Low Moor had been a breeze. We'd parked up in the free car park one Saturday morning, jumped on the train and were in London by lunchtime, after a few hours of reading a book and playing on an iPad. Somehow, I don’t think doing the same trip by car would have been quite so stress-free.

We stayed overnight in the Hilton Hyde Park, where the staff gave us a warm welcome, even if the rooms did have a little too much gold snakeskin-effect wallpaper for my tastes.

The décor in the breakfast area, on the other hand, was beautiful. The restaurant has a Parisian theme, which might sound an odd choice for a London hotel but gave it a wonderfully calming, rustic feel.

The hotel’s location couldn’t have been better too – right next door to a Tube station and over the road from Hyde Park. We took a stroll through the park on the Sunday morning, wandering along to Kensington Palace.

While tourists can pay to look around the state rooms of the building that William, Kate and Harry call home, we decided to just take a look at its free-to-access gardens.

Perhaps the most beautiful part is the sunken garden, which has been decked out as a white garden this year to mark twenty years since the death of Diana, Princess of Wales.

The planting will change throughout the year, and when we visited, it was filled with every variety of white summer flower we could imagine, from striking alliums to wonderfully scented jasmine.

The surrounding park provided a welcome contrast to the bustling crowds of the tourist attractions and underground stations.

Its joggers, dog-walkers and young families were a lovely reminder of the day-to-day London that’s home to nearly 9m people.

And soon it’s time to hop back on the train for the journey back to Low Moor.

Whether you’re after the full-on cheese-fest of the big tourist attractions, or the splendour of Royal palaces and parks, it’s just got a little easier to spend a weekend in one of the world’s great metropolises.

• Low Moor station has 120 free parking spaces;

• Tickets from Low Moor to London with Grand Central start from £13.70. Book up to 12 weeks in advance at grandcentralrail.com for up to 89 per cent off the full cost;

• Grand Central’s West Riding route also calls at Bradford Interchange, Halifax, Brighouse and Mirfield. Trains offer free Wi-Fi and extra leg room as standard;

• Tickets start from £29 at Madame Tussauds and £21 at the London Dungeon. A combination ticket for both attractions can also be bought for £40.