Daniel is travelling again. His first outing in the newly-fixed Land Rover was to Hanlith Hall in Malhamdale on Saturday for showjumping practice.

Sallie, who organises events at her beautiful home, braved the rain to set up a course of inviting fences and to give Steve help and advice.

Then it was off to the pub, where Steve bent over a large sheet of paper, muttering letters and drawing a series of circles and diagrams. Lunching ramblers may have thought there was wizardry at work as Steve learned his dressage test for his first one-day event. Then, after a nourishing pie and two beers, he set about putting theory into practice. Ladies at the yard were astonished to see him trotting, horseless, round the arena in a series of loops and diagonals. “I’m just running my lunch off,” he shouted, moving forward into canter at M.

On Sunday, Daniel puffed purposefully round to complete the Prelim 1 test at Broomhill Equestrian Centre. Surprisingly, the pair were in the lead after the dressage section. Steve then realised the only other two competitors had withdrawn.

“Wud ‘ave been a waste o’ their time comin’ wi’ me ‘ere,” said Daniel, as he marched proudly back to the trailer. “Are we off now? It’s past my lunch.”

Little did he realise, he still had another dressage test to complete, with Esme, and two rounds of combined showjumping and rustic fences.

Steve was happy with his dressage score of 53.7. It was his first attempt and Daniel had declined to “move forward into canter at M”. He added just four faults after the jumping when Daniel stopped for a poo at Number Two of 15 obstacles.

“I hate stressage,” snapped Esme, bottom of her class with both horses at the halfway stage. But, as usual, Mrs Horse pulled herself up the order with a clear round to finish fifth while Daniel, with just one fence down, nudged into the ribbons at eighth.

Jenny was delighted with three new rosettes, in red, pink and turquoise.

Meanwhile, Baby Horse got into a terrible pickle with his jumping training. Steve decided it would be a birthday surprise for Jenny if he leapt the solid rail between the cross country and showjumping fields. Unfortunately, Baby gallumphed with just enough vigour to heave his front legs over. His back legs remained planted firmly in the cross country field.

“Urk! Now what?” said Baby, his mad amber eyes blinking in confusion. When there was no quick answer, he bent to graze on the lush grass in the showjumping field. Steve eventually persuaded him to free himself by lifting his hefty front legs while reversing his back end.

“At least you’ve taught its front end to jump,” said the Boss.

“It must have been a ridiculous sight,” said Esme, yet again embarrassed by the family’s antics.

Jenny Loweth & Steve Wright